Inventing a Cure for ME

image by the rocketeer on flickr

I’m considering inventing a cure for ME.  I can charge people a bundle for my scientifically proven treatment, do TV appearances and tell everyone how my cure can cure everything including ME.

What money I make I can donate to real scientific trials and biomedical research.

In the meantime I’ll be curing thousands of people. Even if it’s only for a month, a week or a day at a time that’s still a cure right?

It’s about time we had a cure for ME that’s really fun. 

So I’m thinking that bubblegum might cure ME.  Or perhaps rfairground rides.  Or maybe just that cake has magical healing properties.  I would suggest combining all of these in a strict treatment regime in order to be successful. 

I would tell you right now how to combine bubblegum, fairground rides and cake (BFC) but it’s better that you buy my book and DVD or subscribe to my weekly online course. This will vaguely outline the flimsy evidence but convince you that you’re a big fat loser if you don’t at least try my BFC.

Of course you’ll also need to wear one of my special curing hats.  If you’re not willing to wear a comedy curing hat then that tells me you’re not really ready to accept wellness into your life. 

Please don’t think you can get better using your own hat – you need one of my special cure hats only available from a licensed practioner.  I have testimonials from lots of people who felt a bit tired and used the curing hats with amazing results.  Don’t ask me how it works, just take my word for it that it does.

I’m sure once the money comes rolling in I’ll feel like a new woman too.

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In other news I am taking Astragalus again.  The last time I had any sort of real improvement in day to day function was after I had been taking astragalus.  This is dangerous to admit because it indicates to the voodoo cure lot that I am indeed feeling a little bit desperate to get better.  Especially as I started taking astragalus because a woman I’ve never met told me on the phone it would cure me (a homeopath a family member had been using).  But I have a huge stash of it so I may as well take it and wait for a miracle.

I did read that astragalus is supposed to help support positive T cell production and has had some clinical success in assisting the effectiveness of HIV treatments.  But that’s just one study. 

Ah well.  Best pop my curing hat on and get cracking on marketing this cure I’m working on.