Inventing a Cure for ME

image by the rocketeer on flickr

image by the rocketeer on flickr

I’m considering inventing a cure for ME.  I can charge people a bundle for my scientifically proven treatment, do TV appearances and tell everyone how my cure can cure everything including ME.

What money I make I can donate to real scientific trials and biomedical research.

In the meantime I’ll be curing thousands of people. Even if it’s only for a month, a week or a day at a time that’s still a cure right?

It’s about time we had a cure for ME that’s really fun. 

So I’m thinking that bubblegum might cure ME.  Or perhaps rfairground rides.  Or maybe just that cake has magical healing properties.  I would suggest combining all of these in a strict treatment regime in order to be successful. 

I would tell you right now how to combine bubblegum, fairground rides and cake (BFC) but it’s better that you buy my book and DVD or subscribe to my weekly online course. This will vaguely outline the flimsy evidence but convince you that you’re a big fat loser if you don’t at least try my BFC.

miraclecureOf course you’ll also need to wear one of my special curing hats.  If you’re not willing to wear a comedy curing hat then that tells me you’re not really ready to accept wellness into your life. 

Please don’t think you can get better using your own hat – you need one of my special cure hats only available from a licensed practioner.  I have testimonials from lots of people who felt a bit tired and used the curing hats with amazing results.  Don’t ask me how it works, just take my word for it that it does.

I’m sure once the money comes rolling in I’ll feel like a new woman too.


In other news I am taking Astragalus again.  The last time I had any sort of real improvement in day to day function was after I had been taking astragalus.  This is dangerous to admit because it indicates to the voodoo cure lot that I am indeed feeling a little bit desperate to get better.  Especially as I started taking astragalus because a woman I’ve never met told me on the phone it would cure me (a homeopath a family member had been using).  But I have a huge stash of it so I may as well take it and wait for a miracle.

I did read that astragalus is supposed to help support positive T cell production and has had some clinical success in assisting the effectiveness of HIV treatments.  But that’s just one study. 

Ah well.  Best pop my curing hat on and get cracking on marketing this cure I’m working on.


5 Responses to “Inventing a Cure for ME”

  1. 2 Jozephine May 29, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    You could get a whole franchise going and get people to pay you megabucks for a “qualification” so they can run their own groups and classes. Brilliant!

  2. 3 Sue May 30, 2009 at 1:57 am

    Sounds great – sign me up! I especially liked the part about”don’t even think about wearing your own healing hat…”


  3. 4 cusp June 1, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Well you might have some competition there because there’s the new pee test from today …all yours for £13/€15 and a piddle in the morning ;0)

    Astragulus….I’ve taken it everyday in a herbal mixture prepared by my herbalist and it does seem to do me some good along with milk thistle and gingo and ginseng. Be careful with the stuff. It’s powerful and should really only be prescribed by a trained herbalist.

  4. 5 fadra August 5, 2009 at 5:58 am

    OMG that is toooo funny! And i understand totally how you feel.. having dealt with this for almost 20 years and being told it was all in my head and denighed treatment for years … and now almost useless.. i wish anything would make something better.. if it were something fun that would be a huge plus.. tired of choking down pills and vitamins morning and night .. with little but a palative effect… huge gentle hugs to you.. espaecially since your sense of humor seems to be intact.. I know that is important.

    Big Smile full of hope,

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Push It 11 Sep 2011

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