The brain fog is lifting slightly and my reasoning and thinking a little clearer to now understand why this last week, indeed this last fortnight have been so tough.
A fornight ago I had my outpouring of truths about my situation through tears and sniffles. Turns out (as I should have known then) that the major trigger for this was hormones – specifically PMT. Not that I regret the outpouring or what I learnt about how I was feeling.
Then the central heating boiler broke down so no heat and no hot water. Although I had an electric heater the cold slowed me down, my brain was more foggy, everything seemed more effort. Plus there was the anxiety about getting it fixed with Growler’s anxiety about the lack of heat making me ill.
8 days ago I decided to take a quick, basic, but unassisted shower. I figured it was better to have wet hair in the morning and sit in the lounge with the fan heater, than to have Growler help me in the evening and sit in a cold(er) bedroom with wet hait. Hmmm.
I had to wash my hair that day because the mobile hairdresser was due the next day. So I wash my hair the day before and have a dry cut or get her to wet it down for me. Turned out that unassisted shower however basic was bit more exahusting that I gave it credit for. I got through it ok but climbed back into bed for a rest. Then realised I was whacked. Luckily Growler came home at lunch for something so helped me to decamp downstairs and get me some lunch. Think it would have been a real battle for me on my own.
The next day (a week ago) both the hairdresser was due to visit and the engineer to fix the heat/hot water. I was dressed and ready by lunch. Growler was at home to deal with the engineer and I sat waiting for the hairdresser from 1.30pm to 3.30pm. Neither of them showed up. Both had cocked up the appointment. It took another 4 days to get hold of the hairdresser and the engineer was delayed by another 2-3 days. So more days without heat and hot water.
The next day I started my period which always leaves me wiped since I’ve had M.E. and tends to make my IBS and constipation worse. I was wiped.
The last 5-6 days I’ve not been out of my PJ’s which is something that hasn’t happened for more than a year. It was a shock to the system to suddenly be crashed so badly. The week has been a write off but at least the engineer did come and fix the heat/hot water.
Today I’m feeling a bit more with it. Even if these stupid PACE trial findings are a stressful way to start the weekend.
Not sure I’ll make it out of pj’s today but feel like I’m recovering and have figured out what it is I’m recovering from. I think that shower exertion combined with the circumstances of hormones, lack of heating, stress and still recovering from January’s dip was much bigger than expected and it’s taken me a week to get over the crest of that hill. It used to take me a week on average to recover from big exertions and unexpected things but since LDN I’ve bounced back within a day or two. Hence why this has been a shock to the system.
I also discovered that we’d been using an old bottle of LDN which was at least a week past it’s best – quite possibly degraded and not working properly for me. We started a brand new bottle 2 nights ago and hey presto I feel a bit more like I have LDN to support me once again. It even tastes stronger/fresher/different. This last week has really felt LDN-less. Kind of makes me appreciate how much LDN does for me now whatever the reason for this crappy 10 days or so has been.
I’ve also felt that my sleep hasn’t been as good – possibly down to out of date LDN as well. Which is why Sue’s advice about getting quality sleep with ME/CFS is so interesting. May consider some of these options once my brain can take the information in better.
Amazing how little things can become such a mountain and how little things can make such a vast difference.