Needing Adjustment

So I am weary today.  I felt a bit weary yesterday but had a commitment to write a letter and make a pop up so I would be clear today to do sorting with my sis-in-law-to-be (K) today.  By the end of yesterday afternoon I was wishing I’d spent the day sleeping, or at least parked on the sofa watching telly.

Well today I feel (unsurprisingly after pushing a bit yesterday) even more weary.  So I’m just texting K to cancel now.  I’m not a zombie but I’m not up to wrestling with the contents of kitchen cupboards or the grotty assortment of stuff in the garage. 

In terms of pulling out clutter for car booting we are nearly finished – just kitchen and garage to pull stuff out from.  There’s more stuff for recycling and tidying after that but we should be able to organise a car boot session soon – if I still have willing volunteers!  But all that has to wait for another day.  As Growler said, resting is The Most Important Thing to do after my weekend.

I felt myself thinking I was premature in my excitement over LDN and what improvement it might be offering.  That writing a post admitting I was wiped would be showing just a classic boom and bust. 

I hope it doesn’t read like that and as someone who hasn’t experience a boom for a long time I’m fairly confident still that LDN is making some kind of positive difference.  What I need in the coming weeks is to make an adjustment to utilise the positive improvement without overdoing it.  Plus my long weekend away was a calculated bust.  If LDN meant I didn’t crash that was a bonus, but I was expecting this week to be a bit of a write off from all the extra exertion at the weekend.

The beginning of the week felt like normal levels of ill.  I maybe should have rested more yesterday and the day before than I did.  But I can learn that lesson for next time.

I forgot to tell you that my GP said if I did ever feel I wanted to try the GET to just let her know but it was totally up to me.  Having had a taste of my local physio’s GET (when I didn’t know that’s what she was asking me to do and when I didn’t know I had ME/CFS but every health professional seemed to kn0w) I think I’m better placed to understand how to increase my own activity in a controlled and paced fashion. 

I already aims, ideas and tools to use – I just haven’t had the physical health to do anything with them.  I’d like to start doing the basic pilates exercises which the physio said were OK with my back condition.  I’d like to start gently increasing what I do each day and get back to taking really short walks.  It’s not the willingness that’s missing – it’s the ability.  And I have to walk before I can run. I have to be a bit better before I can walk.

In other news – I really, really, really want to hear about my DLA. 

They wrote to me at the beginning of January apologising for not having made a decision and I am still waiting to hear.  Trying to stay positive but the suspense is killing me not to mention the lack of any money since October has been stretching my tiny income from my art sales.  Plus it’s hard not to imagine that the delay is because it’s not straightforward and I’m going to need to have a medical or am going to be declined.  Must, think, positive!  Now is not the day to worry about it. (But I still want to know!).


3 Responses to “Needing Adjustment”

  1. 1 Annie February 18, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    I love how positive you are, despite the fact that CFS makes life so hard.

    I love reading about people living life with this illness, as it has knocked me right to the ground too.

    Come visit me sometime at It’s Time To Get Over How Fragile You Are!


  2. 2 ashysheela February 18, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    I hope you get good DLA news soon… I also hope the car boot is a financial success! Even if you have to almost give stuff away, at least it will get rid of the clutter, but to make some cash would be GRRRREAT!

    I am glad you can start thinking about gently testing the physical activity boundaries – that shows that you really are feeling a change despite a little payback right now. Good luck with that 🙂

  3. 3 Jozephine February 19, 2010 at 9:41 am

    I can relate to the hoping that this is real improvement. Just to say, any ‘normal’ would be tired after a weekend away. Also, I tend to crash after excitement even if I haven’t done anything else.

    I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you re the DLA. It may be a good sign that they haven’t just knocked you back straightaway.

    And I love the sound of your doc. I’m still unsure of my new one.

    Take care – and rest.

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Push It 11 Sep 2011

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