Rebalancing and Getting It A Bit Wrong

It’s day 2 of changes and I’m starting to see where routine shifts are going to naturally settle.

Day one of being home alone 9-5 went well. So well in fact I felt a bit silly for making a big fuss.  Growler was home at 5.20pm (with a spring in his step) and there were no dramas.  He expertly put exactly enough water in the kettle to last me through the day. Even if boiling 4 cups of water, then 3, then 2 isn’t eco friendly it helped me out on my first day.  I even discovered an energy saving trick for pouring kettle into my mug.  I made myself a bit of lunch (heated things up) and Growler had left plates and cutlery out for me.  I had one wobbly lipped moment in the morning but aside from that I remained positive and calm.  I even bravely answered the phone which turend out to be a wrong number.

So all in all a good start.

Day two and I woke again as Growler was getting ready to leave around 8.30 ish i think.  This is 1-2 hours earlier than I normally wake up naturally.  I seem to remember this was a difficult thing when he was going out to work last time.  So I either have to go to bed at 8.30pm (umm not keen on that) or night try chilling/napping in the day as recommended by my readers.  We’ll see.

Everything is kind of “we’ll see” at the moment.  I have to learn (re-learn) the shape of my day and the feel of it.  Waking earlier than usual means I’m getting up a lot earlier than usual.  I used to wake at 9.30-10.30 have breakfast in bed, sit and surf on my laptop until lunch. Then if it was a bad day have lunch in bed and get up in the afternoon or if it was an ok day get up and have lunch downstairs.  Because I can’t carry my laptop downstairs (safely for me and it) I’ve told G to leave the laptop downstairs for me.  That way it will a) give me a good reason to try and get up before lunch anyway and b) make me different things in the morning like drawing and reading.

Anyway I’m waking an hour or two earlier and so getting up mid morning and the day – the doing day – seems much much longer.  I have time to “do a little something” in the morning whereas before I am was strictly computer only in the mornings and art and stuff in the afternoon.

So I have to learn to balance things out better with my 9-5.  By 4.30 yesterday I felt I was hitting a wall.  i sually only get that if we’re out somewhere, staying with relatives/away for a weekend or on a typical day at around 10pm.  So it was a bit worrying.  I hope I figure things out quickly as a cumulative effect of hitting the wall at 4pm could be bad news.  That or get my mind altered to “do less first and then add more in”.

Somehow the excitement and nervousness of being self dependent in the day is making me want to move at a 100 miles an hour.  I hope that will settle as I get used to the idea and stop acting like a crazy woman ;o)

I know how to do this stuff, how to balance and pace and alter my mindset – but I’ve not needed to practice it for a while and I’ve had G to read me and say “it’s bad idea to such and such because you had a rough day yesterday” (me “Oh yer I forgot about feeling bad yesterday”).

I think I am desperate not to lose the productivity and momentum I’ve had with my art recently – but I have to face it that things have changed and even though they are small I do have extra demands on my resources (spoons). And it’s better to slow a little now than burn out and crash into being in a bad way later on.  NOW if I can just get that to lodge in my leaky brain …


6 Responses to “Rebalancing and Getting It A Bit Wrong”

  1. 1 ashysheela November 11, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    oh dear, getting up earlier at the same time as all these changes! I find i have to wear ear plugs, partly due to snoring issues but also so that i don’t wake up when my partner does in the morning and also our neighbours are really noisy first thing as well. “Bioears” are the best i think!

    As for the telephone, it is so annoying. I always answer it at the moment as i am waiting for various people to ring me who are proving hard to get hold of (roofer, joiner etc) but when i am fast asleep and it is a blinking double glazing salesperson i get so mad. Especially when they don’t take no for an answer! So much for the telephone preference service…

    Hope you manage to relax into it and to not overdo it 🙂 From what you are saying it sounds as if you had your pacing pretty sorted before this, no naps and not hitting a wall by late afternoon… makes me realise how badly i am doing, i should try harder… I hope you manage to get into a new but equally stable routine 🙂

  2. 2 rachelcreative November 11, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    Well yes by see my pacing was assisted by not having to fetch my own drinks, make lunch, stay in bed as long as I needed and still get fed and watered by Growler. So it’s not a fair comparison.

    The advantage to waking as he gets ready for work is he can bring me tea and breakfast (yeah!) but if I sleep later I’d have to either go downstairs and do that myself or have something cold, and/or faff with flasks and things (more faff for G really).

    We’re all different Ashy. That’s a good thing. And if you saw me messing about with cameras and light tents this morning and felt my glands throbbing this afternoon from the exertions you wouldn’t be so impressed with my alledged pacing abilities ;o)

  3. 3 cusp November 11, 2008 at 8:20 pm

    It IS only day TWO dear. Give yerself a break ;0) I reckon you’ve got a pretty good handle on how to keep ticking over: it’s just that it takes time to adjust. I have great faith in your abilities …oh. and we all falter. I thought I was doing so well last week and on half term –managing to ‘do’ Halloween and then Bonfire Night last week. This week I have defo. hit a wall and don’t know whether I’m coming or going. Sure is a tricky path we follow.

  4. 4 ashysheela November 14, 2008 at 7:05 pm

    hope the week was ok overall…?

  5. 5 rachelcreative November 14, 2008 at 7:18 pm

    Yes Ashy – it was indeed. The last 2 days I’ve lost track of time!

    I shall blog soon. Yes a productive week in fact and 2 lunch time visits from Growler too. Overall it went well.

  6. 6 Sue November 18, 2008 at 12:32 am

    Hi, Rachel –

    I just found your blog and have enjoyed reading your profile and a couple of entries to get to know you a bit. I have had CFS for 6 1/2 years and just recently got Lyme disease this summer (which I hope very much to get rid of soon!!)

    As for daily routines, I put earplugs in when I hear my husband get up at 6 am – I really need that extra hour of sleep before I have to get our younger son off to school! And I couldn’t survive without my afternoon nap. I learned long ago to rest proactively to try to even out my ups and downs. No matter how I feel, I take a nap after lunch every day, and it really helps me to feel better in the evenings. That’s just my own pattern – I definitely have a slump in the afternoons.

    Good luck getting adjusting to your new routines. I’ll stop by again!


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Push It 11 Sep 2011

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