It’s day 2 of changes and I’m starting to see where routine shifts are going to naturally settle.
Day one of being home alone 9-5 went well. So well in fact I felt a bit silly for making a big fuss. Growler was home at 5.20pm (with a spring in his step) and there were no dramas. He expertly put exactly enough water in the kettle to last me through the day. Even if boiling 4 cups of water, then 3, then 2 isn’t eco friendly it helped me out on my first day. I even discovered an energy saving trick for pouring kettle into my mug. I made myself a bit of lunch (heated things up) and Growler had left plates and cutlery out for me. I had one wobbly lipped moment in the morning but aside from that I remained positive and calm. I even bravely answered the phone which turend out to be a wrong number.
So all in all a good start.
Day two and I woke again as Growler was getting ready to leave around 8.30 ish i think. This is 1-2 hours earlier than I normally wake up naturally. I seem to remember this was a difficult thing when he was going out to work last time. So I either have to go to bed at 8.30pm (umm not keen on that) or night try chilling/napping in the day as recommended by my readers. We’ll see.
Everything is kind of “we’ll see” at the moment. I have to learn (re-learn) the shape of my day and the feel of it. Waking earlier than usual means I’m getting up a lot earlier than usual. I used to wake at 9.30-10.30 have breakfast in bed, sit and surf on my laptop until lunch. Then if it was a bad day have lunch in bed and get up in the afternoon or if it was an ok day get up and have lunch downstairs. Because I can’t carry my laptop downstairs (safely for me and it) I’ve told G to leave the laptop downstairs for me. That way it will a) give me a good reason to try and get up before lunch anyway and b) make me different things in the morning like drawing and reading.
Anyway I’m waking an hour or two earlier and so getting up mid morning and the day – the doing day – seems much much longer. I have time to “do a little something” in the morning whereas before I am was strictly computer only in the mornings and art and stuff in the afternoon.
So I have to learn to balance things out better with my 9-5. By 4.30 yesterday I felt I was hitting a wall. i sually only get that if we’re out somewhere, staying with relatives/away for a weekend or on a typical day at around 10pm. So it was a bit worrying. I hope I figure things out quickly as a cumulative effect of hitting the wall at 4pm could be bad news. That or get my mind altered to “do less first and then add more in”.
Somehow the excitement and nervousness of being self dependent in the day is making me want to move at a 100 miles an hour. I hope that will settle as I get used to the idea and stop acting like a crazy woman ;o)
I know how to do this stuff, how to balance and pace and alter my mindset – but I’ve not needed to practice it for a while and I’ve had G to read me and say “it’s bad idea to such and such because you had a rough day yesterday” (me “Oh yer I forgot about feeling bad yesterday”).
I think I am desperate not to lose the productivity and momentum I’ve had with my art recently – but I have to face it that things have changed and even though they are small I do have extra demands on my resources (spoons). And it’s better to slow a little now than burn out and crash into being in a bad way later on. NOW if I can just get that to lodge in my leaky brain …