We didn’t go to the comedy gig tonight as planned. The consensus (of me and Growler) was that I looked knackered and when I do things, big or exciting things when I look knackered it’s asking for trouble. Like days of paying for a few hours of out and about.
So we’re staying home. And I’m trying to not feel defeated, weak or useless at being normal.
I’m currently feeling a bit grumped that so many interesting things are in the evening. Because sitting down to watch a show and trying to get the best of my energy, brain and health at what is a couple of hours before bedtime isn’t exactly the perfect plan.
It’s a double whammy because this morning there was A Thing on in Birmingham that I wanted to go to and had felt quite determined to go to. But it meant being up, breakfasted, semi digested of breakfast, washed and dressed before I am normally even awake and then meeting lots of new people in a social buzzing kind of scene. So not perfect for one who looks knackered and woke up feeling like someone had folded me into a tight bundle of crunched paper in the night.
In fact it’s a TRIPLE whammy because my dad just phoned and asked to take me to an art exhibition next week because it just blew him away and wants to share it with me. Except on Wednesday I am being taken across country, intravenously sedated and having 2 wisdom teeth removed. So I have to rest enough before to be well enough to go and have this done, and then afterwards … well I’m guessing I’m going to feel a bit ropey to say the least.
So I have to use Growler’s sensible brain with good perspective and planning to see if it’s a good idea to try and go on Monday or blow off yet another social thing.
I’m not utterly miserable, I’m not staggeringly ill. But not being able, trying to go to things or to see people and failing … well it sucks. I want to be more eloquent but that is all I have. Sucky stupid M.E.