Not-So-Random Things On My Mind

What can I ask Growler for as a xmas present.   Surely not a walking stick.  There must be something else – that isn’t in the disability aids catalogue.

Why am I awake, or rather why am I not getting off to sleep.  Did I over frazzle my brain today.

Wanting to ‘organise’ a virtual non-office xmas party for my online (and hardly ever get to see) friends.  With party games and virtual booze.

Will DLA turn ugly or go through like a breeze.

Have I got too many choices on my t-shirt shop or not enough.  How will I ever know.  Is it worth it.

I want to paint.  Paint free.  Paint messy. 

I want space in my “studio”.

I want the energy and health and resilience to just tidy up and attack little jobs without scuppering the rest of the week or month.  Grrr!

Am I good enough.

Have I left enough time to get the xmas cards written.

Will the stress of having a filling at the dentist next week make me proper poorly.

Am I doing the right things.  Could I do more.  Should I do more.  Remember what Growler said.  breathe.  Relax.

If I book theatre tickets for panto with disabled wheelchair spot will they throw me out if I walk from my wheelchair to the toilet.  Will I have to be stuck in all the time just in case non disabled staff make a judgement and think I am a fraud.  Or do I develop a big gob, do what is right for me and give them verbals if things kick off.

When can we have the pretty xmas lights up.

When will I get better.

Can there be a way to have a blanket on your lap in a wheelchair and not look like a cliche.

If I make art to sell, it might not sell and that would be really embarrassing.

Growler is going to read this and tell me this is why I couldn’t sleep.



4 Responses to “Not-So-Random Things On My Mind”

  1. 1 Growler November 27, 2007 at 8:52 am

    This is why you couldn’t sleep?

    I’ll get you whatever you want for Xmas…apart from a puppy…or a penguin.


  2. 2 Rachel M November 27, 2007 at 4:58 pm

    Oh, Penguin!!! It would go well with wheelie walk, wouldn’t it?

    Nobody knows why MEites have problem with sleep. But it is not the mind thing. That is the reason why sleep medication doesn’t work. We just need to go with the flow, I think… At the moment, my sleep is between 10 am and 6 pm. Last week, it was between 4 am and 4 pm. So, I am guessing your problem is not too bad… *cross my fingers*

  3. 3 rachelcreative November 27, 2007 at 5:06 pm

    Oh yes! Me and my penguin could waddle together on better days 😀

    It is rather like a switch being flicked, not being able to sleep. Strange. Perhaps another faulty brain message going awry.

    I hope your sleep reversal works it’s way around to nightime Rachel.

  4. 4 Rachel M November 28, 2007 at 6:37 pm

    I know it is weird. It’s like autonomic switch in our brain became faulty. No matter what I do, it is just impossible to repair it. ie. enough sun during the day, relaxation, more activities during the day, medications… I even tried to stay awake until normal sleep hour, and ended up not be able to sleep for more than two days.

    My sleep pattern will eventually go back to normal, and then go back to reversal… So being isolated is kind of easier to deal with it.

    I hope your problem is not too bad. It would be more stressful to deal with when you have healthy husband and family.

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Push It 11 Sep 2011

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