Hours of Work Wasted (mini RANT)

Oh grrr!  I spent hours and hours over the last two days methodically doing some work online … upload, click, copy, paste, click, wait, click, wait, click, etc.

I know my brain doesn’t work so well since developing my illness so I made a list of all the tiny chunks of tasks I needed to do and in what order.  I took my time and I was so pleased to have a couple of days when I was capable of doing such tasks and would get something out of it at the end.

Except … once I was very near the end, checking links and so forth, I discovered the basic assumptions I had been working on were wrong.  I spent 2 days changing this whole site to work in a “better way” only to discover that way sucks.  Only 10% of it is keepable – so I have another 2 days of work to get back to where I was.

What frustrates me most isn’t the loss of the work.  Even the loss of the ‘capable time’ isn’t the worst part.  The thing I hate about it is that I wasn’t sharp enough to test the basic principle at the beginning.  To test it was what I wanted instead of my brain going “oh yer – good idea … la la la …” and forgetting to make sure the basic principle was sound.

There was a time, not so very long ago, when my mind worked in a way that meant every angle would be considered, contemplated and scrutinised before getting stuck into the actual doing of the thing. 

I know I have to get stuck into doing most of the time before I forget what I was about to do 🙂

But, but, but … why isn’t my mind as keen, sharp … erm … I can’t think of a word that means “thinking in a wide and encompassing way”.  Sigh.

It’s not a real angry rant.  It’s just a humph really.  I hoped a blog might help get it off my chest – because I know why and I know it doesn’t really matter.  That I will just get up and do it all again (hopefully properly) when I am able to next.  And that trying to be clever in my current state of health and cognitive function is probably not a sensible thing to do. 

So I think it has helped and I think “Keep It Simple” is the lesson to be learnt here!

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2 Responses to “Hours of Work Wasted (mini RANT)”


  1. 1 dxunknown July 28, 2007 at 1:47 am

    Although I can certainly relate to this post (getting in the car before thinking about getting the keys), I wanted to ask you about the attitude toward CFS in the UK. I’ve been told for many years now that CFS was probably the cause of my episodic fatigue, but it wouldn’t explain all the other stuff. Still, over and over, I meet people such as yourself who are experiencing a WIDE range of symptoms. Here in the states, many doctors still believe symptoms like IBS and constant headaches (to name but a couple) are “rare” abberations of CFS, despite article after article in medical journals about how common it is. I guess I’m having to question if maybe it has been CFS along and my doctors just don’t appreciate how many other things go hand in hand with it. There argument is that CFS typically doesn’t effect blood or other things that show up in tests and I’ve always had something or other that is slightly off and inexplicable. You have been diagnosed with CFS, you’ve read some of my posts… what do you think?

  2. 2 rachelcreative July 28, 2007 at 11:53 am

    Well … my impression was that you have classic CFS (CFIDS, ME) but that you suspect (like many people) that CFS is a blanket diagnosis that covers multiple presentations and strands. That it’s a fob off really because health professionals still don’t know enough about the causes and so forth of CFS.

    Now I’m not sure I understood your story right!

    Here’s a quote from the fact sheet my doctor (GP general practioner) gave me):

    – CFS/ME may not be one or even two conditions. It may include several conditions each with a different cause. Each of the conditions may cause similar symptoms, but with present knowledge cannot be distinguished, or:
    – CFS/ME may be one condition, but which may be triggered by more than one cause, or:
    – CFS/ME may be one condition, with one cause.

    I’m not an expert on this, but often studies trotted out in favour of a simplistic treatment regime are often criticised by patient groups as only being effective for CFS patients with certain presentations.

    What I do know is that in the UK certainly people diagnosed with CFS suffer wide ranging symptoms including some of the things you have described. You may be right to keep digging and ask for proper answers – a diagnose of CFS is a relief to know what it is but a dead end as treatment options are very limited.

    Here’s a quote again from the fact sheet provided from my doctor about symptoms:

    ” – Fatigue … both physical and mental fatigue, and said to be ‘overwhelming’, or to be ‘like no other type of fatigue’ … often made worse by activity. This is called ‘post-exertional malaise’. However, the post-exertional malaise may not develop for several hours or more following the activity. It may even develop on the following day.

    In addition to fatigue, one or more of the following symptoms are common (but most people do not have them all). In some cases, one of the following symptoms is more dominant than the fatigue and is the main symptom.

    – Mental (‘cognitive’) difficulties such poor concentration, reduced attention span, poor memory for recent events, difficulty to plan or organise your thoughts, difficulty ‘finding the right words’ to say, sometimes feeling disorientated.
    – Sleeping difficulties. For example, early waking, unable to sleep, too much sleep, disrupted sleep/wake patterns.
    – Pains – most commonly muscular pains (myalgia), joint pains, and headaches.
    – Recurring sore throat often with tenderness of the nearby lymph glands.
    – Intolerances and sensitivities to foods, alcohol, noise and bright light.
    – Gut symptoms similar to those that occur in ‘irritable bowel syndrome’. For example, excess, wind, bloating, alternating diarrhoea and constipation, abdominal pains, nausea (feeling sick).
    – A range of other symptoms have been reported in some cases such as dizziness, excess sweating, difficulties with balance, and disordered temperature control of the body. ”

    I would say I have had all of these at one point or another and I’ve had other things too. I also suffer with up to half of this list on any given week- although the exact things tend to change over time.

    I’m going to swing by your blog as I’m sure this has set you thinking over there and we can bat it arounda bit more.

    I’ll also try and post a list of symptoms I get to this blog at some point.


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