CFS Equation

We lost a friend of the family yesterday to a long battle with cancer.  This loss is making me think all the more about life, death, purpose.  Life is precious and we should all make the most of it.

But.  There are so many things in life and I have so much time, yet so little energy or concentration.  There are all the things I want to do and then all the things that need to be done.  So many things, so much stuff and it mounts up when you struggle to even do the small things.  My achievements today are having a bath and balancing my monthly budget.  These are big things for me!

Energy seems in an ever less supply.  Things/stuff to increase every day.  I’m caught in the middle with frustration piling up and eating away at that energy.

It minded me of equations at school.  They said everthing on the right side needs to balance everything on the left side and that’s what’s at work here.  My expectations and desires far exceed my ability. 

I need a major adjustment.  Which scares me as I do so little already – to let go of more, to ask for more help, to learn not to care about huge sections of life – it’s frightening.  But seemingly necessary?

It’s something like:

stuff done = energy / time

But what I can’t work out is how to show potential stuff and where stuff not done goes .  That’s what happens when a woman not strong at maths gets CFS and tries to make an equation I guess.  Erm …

potential stuff – (energy / time) = stuff not done

Any ideas how to get my life to add up?


3 Responses to “CFS Equation”

  1. 1 Rachel M June 21, 2007 at 10:26 am

    I am sorry for the loss of your family friend.

    About the CFS Equation… I still have not figured it yet. Maybe it is not about adding them up…

  2. 2 Connie June 23, 2007 at 12:45 am

    Sorry about your loss. I don’t know the answer about the equation either. I think it changes so often, even day to day sometimes.

  3. 3 rachelcreative June 23, 2007 at 4:53 pm

    Thanks both. Maybe your right – although it’s about balance life isn’t certain or a sum of knowns is it?

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