We’re all learning (or ignorant)

It’s hard to accept the impact my chronic illness and recent acceptance of disability has on everyone around me.  It’s a massive adjustment for me to make but for them also. 

My fear is that they will be distressed, upset, worry and my tendency has been to hide the true extent of my illness. 

I’m learning they fear:

  • adding to my burden
  • not getting things quite right (them being the healthy ones with the non fogged brains)
  • that I won’t get better (which is possible) and then guilt I suppose for thinking I need to be better to be happy, fulfilled, lovable, whatever

Much as I am grieving for things in my life I have lost and things in my life that may never be – I think many of them are grieving too.  I have limitations and I can’t be there as much for people as once I was, I’m not really one to lean on day to day as it takes such a toll on my health, I can’t run about and get things done as before, I can’t pop out for a meal or a trip on a whim.

I’m learning to live again, and so are my family and my friends.  I am so very grateful to have people around me who want to make that change with me.  My blind assumption that they will love me less if I give less does them and me a great disservice.  I’m going to make mistakes along the way I’m sure and so are they – but I must keep communicating with them and trusting them. 

PS: The “or ignorant” in the heading of ths blog post refers to those who choose not to understand, not to learn, not to come with me.  There must be a better word – I’m sure I’ll discover it along the way.


2 Responses to “We’re all learning (or ignorant)”

  1. 1 hymes May 16, 2007 at 2:34 am

    I think a better word is frightened. Lots of folks are threatened by the illness of others.

    It is a tough learning process for you and your friends and family and yes, some will not join you in the learning process and that is really hard to take. I wish you all the best as you continue to adust and move on.

  1. 1 Wearisome « ChronicallyMe Trackback on February 23, 2010 at 10:34 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


Push It 11 Sep 2011

for ME Research

CFS Links & Resources

See my entire list of CFS/ME/CFIDS links to sites, articles and resources via del.io.us
New stuff is added all the time.

%d bloggers like this: