Comments on: Good News Everyone - CFS/ME Has Ruined My Life

By: Samantha

Samantha — Sat, 03 May 2008 21:20:15 +0000

It does ruin you life..
I do hope you have a loving family to support you, it makes so much difference.

Thinking of you, big hugs hun

Sincerely
Samantha

By: greatdaneservicedog

greatdaneservicedog — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 17:06:21 +0000

Oh the self doubt that can take hold of us!! Believe me, I waited and worried and prayed for over a year before I decided to buy another Great Dane puppy. I’ve decided to train him to be my service dog, and shorten that stinky list of “can’t do’s”. It’s hard, but just doing something to overcome is a giant victory. All the frustration and extra fatigue of this pup will pay off after a couple of years. Strangely enough, I think it already has emotionally…good for you, refusing to give in and give up.

By: Jon

Jon — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 20:19:38 +0000

A lovely article Rachel, which echoed some of my own thoughts and feelings. You’re right about the dangers of letting yourself slip into a negative world-view. I often think about the things I can’t do any more, but I just sort of shrug my shoulders and think “Oh well.”

By: Barbara K.

Barbara K. — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 18:35:00 +0000

Again, you articulate so poignantly what many of us who deal with chronic conditions experience. Thank you.

I have found that letting the emotional pendulum swing all the way into the darkness also allows me to let it swing deeply into the light.

By: Nina

Nina — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 16:49:40 +0000

I can only agree w what everyone else has already said. And I must commend you for your “quick trip” thru the ruined-my-life stage. I took 2 years

Everyone who is busy, busy, busy has not time to enrich their inner life, and we do. No, it’s not a measure of success by outside standards, but outside doesn’t matter much any more.

Growler, RAchel is lucky to have you as her partner!!!

By: Alicia

Alicia — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 13:19:43 +0000

You’re doing great! Ditto what Growler said exactly, and he would know. My illness has taken away a lot of my life too, but it has changed me for the better in many ways. It is nice to read your reflections on this.

By: ama

ama — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 13:02:11 +0000

sometimes it does me a lot of good to tell myself quite plainly that CFS HAS RUINED MY LIFE. like you, i consider myself fortunate — i too have a loving and wonderful life-partner. and like you, i am someone who spends quite a lot of time enjoying life and being quite happy about it. there are many things i *can* do, probably more things than most healthy people can do (the majority of people in the world are way poorer, more disadvantaged, and in direr straights than i am).

at the same time, it is, i find, quite all right to remind myself, on occasion, that CFS HAS RUINED MY LIFE.

what life? you may ask. what other life is there than the life i am living? is it even reasonable to compare a real life with an imagined one?

maybe not. but it is comforting, sometimes, to remind myself that I AM NOT A LOSER. that there are GOOD REASONS why, like you, i don’t have a career or a family; why i have so little time to spend on things i like and enjoy and believe in (and lots of time to spend in bed or on the couch); why i don’t remember what it feels like to walk in the mountains or sit in a cafè in a foreign city or visit a museum. why i never see my family. why i can’t write a paper — i simply cannot keep information and thoughts in my mind long enough. why why why.

so yeah, CFS HAS RUINED MY LIFE, OUR LIVES.

now, having ascertained that, let’s resume to joyful task of living our splendid, exciting, and deeply rewards lives!

good luck with the IBS pain. i hope it leaves you alone soon soon soon.

By: Rachel M

Rachel M — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 02:38:53 +0000

Well said, Rachel.
Not many healthy people can get it, but I feel keeping the delicate balance between hope and reality is a kind of art.
The realisation I have at the moment is that I’m ready to drop “Accountant (Retired)” from my email signature template. Finally, I am okay with just plain Rachel and I still proud of myself even not many people would see the reason why.
Although having said that, I have lots of crying, moaning, self pittying and other ugly moments. I feel they are equally important as positive moments as I am truthful to my life.

By: Connie

Connie — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:28:19 +0000

Umm what your hubby said…LOL.

Seriously, you’ve written what I think of and pray about and dream of. You’ve put words to what many people with chronic illnesses think and feel and you’ve done it in a way that is so thoughtful that I want to hug you.

Being in that mind-numbing, depressive, negative mood for about 2 years and that finally feeling the positive side of things has made my life so much better in so many ways. I often think of being chronically ill as surviving a death sentence - you believe your life is over and then when it’s not, you experience it all in a new way, each moment.

No I’m not pollyanna and happy all the time. I still get frustrated, but when I’m done having my hissy fits, I get back to real life and am so thankful for all I have.

By: Growler

Growler — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 16:59:16 +0000

It has ruined part of your life - but some of that old life you didn’t really want anyway, such as a soul-destroying job.
It has also enriched your life. I have no doubt you would have become the artist and photographer you are today, but I’m also as certain as I can be that it would have taken you a lot longer to reach this point if you had been healthy. You’ve been able to focus more of yout time, talent and energy (what little you have) on your creative side and if you’d been healthier you and we would have found lots of other things to do instead.
What’s most exciting is that the rest of us can see that in terms of your creative talent and your work you are getting better each day, the more you learn and the more you try the more impressive the results.
That isn’t a silver lining - it is far too big and impressive to be just a mere lining.